little miss anu

Name:
Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Thursday, June 29, 2006

voice

a little voice
has begun to speak to me
echo softly in my heart

even though
it is meak and shaky
it sounds so squeaky and shrill
it stammers and speaks in broken words
it can't even hum a single tune properly..

my little voice
has at least, finally
begun to speak to me
and echo softly in my heart

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

safe asleep

i'm so sweet
i fell asleep in your arms
while you were flying with me

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

the dance

let me feel my restlessness
my desperation
my aching need to feel
to experience and explore

let me relax in this feeling
let me not try to drive her away
let me not try to fix her up
let me sit beside her and listen to her story

my feelings can never harm me
no matter what,
so let me not be afraid of them

let them do their number today
and dance in estascy
for tonight,
i'll be their silent audience

what may i do

what may i do
of this soul that craves to connect
of this sweet longing in my heart
of this body that longs to be touched
of these lips that are dying to kiss
of this passion in my love
of this heat in my cunt
of these flowing juices
when there is noone to taste them..

another night

i'm just not able to sleep
i've been tossing and turning
in my cotton bed
for an hour and a half now
i'm feeling restless,
helpless and so desperate

i tried everything---
from fantasising (which i've become so good at now)
to dreaming
to imagining
to reliving past memories
both pleasant and painful
nothing is working

i've never had a problem to sleep before
now my mind is totally clutterred
with all kinds of thoughts
and my head has begun to ache slightly

but i know what is bothering me so much
i don't like to sleep alone

Monday, June 26, 2006

midnight story

past midnight
lying on my bed
listening to love songs in fm radio
seeing the burning orange sky,
the sleeping green leaves,
the bat circling the gulmohor tree and
the plane floating like stars in the sky,

i fall asleep peacefully
like a little princess
in the strong loving arms of
my invisible prince

Sunday, June 25, 2006

the forward roll, the flower & the brick

at the aikido class, we do rolls, during which
we are momentarily in the air
slightly above the ground
and we land on our shoulders, softly,

now i'm just not able to do the forward rolls
i just freeze and become so nervous
that i flop on my back, clumsily,
i'm probably the only student
who is still unable to do the forward roll
the guys are giving me all types of tips & suggestions
but i am just not getting it!

today, the south african guy told me after class
'anu, you are stiff and exerting so much strength,
be relaxed and easy, you are NOT going to fall & hurt yourself'
he continued--
'think of the flower, even as it falls from such great heights
it lands so softly on the hard ground,
sometimes rocks, sometimes glass,
it is not scared as it flows with the energy of the universe
and the force of gravity, it knows it will be safe
but take a brick and drop it from two feet above the ground
the brick cracks so easily
the flower is relaxed and open and accepting (of even the fall)
while the brick resists

noone who has fallen from the great heights has ever hurt himself,
but the fear the falling and resistance to fall is what may hurt you

be the flower anu, not the brick!'

Friday, June 23, 2006

the surprise

they don’t know each other,
yet she smiled and he smiled back

he asked ‘how are you’
she said, ‘fine, how are you’

pat came the reply from him, ‘bad without you’
flustered, she asked, ‘bad without..?’
he laughed, ‘just joking’
and she has not stopped smiling since.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

bedazzzled

I’m putting in tremendous thinking and effort in my work
but sometimes I feel, nobody really bothers about it
I want to switch jobs
but the companies want a perfectly healthy person
I feel I’m healing myself
but the physical reports state contrary

stuck in a vicious whirlpool
I wonder what is the purpose of all this?

then, I remember,
the grass joyfully dancing with the wind
the leafless tree still standing tall
the purple fossil blossoming beautifully near the drainage
the lone star shining so very brightly

are not asking - ‘
what’s the purpose of this?’
they are simply
bedazzled about their existence

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

all for a banana

as I was travelling uphill today,
I saw two fruit vendors happily chatting.
their wooden carts filled with ripe bananas
were parked on the side of the road

suddenly one of the wooden carts
started to slide downhill slowly
everyone yelled to the banana vendor for his attention,
who was till now merrily laughing

what a funny sight it was!
to see a whole group of fruit vendors
running behind the banana cart
which kept sliding down so very swiftly

but who wouldn’t be crazy to taste a banana,
they are so delicious, aren’t they? *wink*

the smooch

I kiss the sky
every evening
with my soft lips

the heavens blush
crimson red & pink
humans call this as twilight.

birth of a daffodil

broken sleep
mild headache
wanted to take the day off.

a little focus in the moment
as fresh as a daffodil and
what a productive day I’ve had so far!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

the doggie

I stand facing my back to you
and pull my pants down
exposing my two naked half moons
to your awestruck eyes

I bend my knees a bit
and rub my tight round ass on your face,
letting you breathe into the
pungent smell of my asshole

shaking my nude assup and down wildly
so very close to your face,

my tits bouncing ahead
my arms bent and up in the air
a fucked up expression on my face

I look like your little doggie
who is waiting to be
spanked and rammed hard!

Friday, June 16, 2006

night lovers

tonight,
i'm alone

my lips are smiling
my heart is overflowing with love
my hair steals a naughty kiss from me
as the soft breeze blows him on my face

I'm feeling
slight tingling sensations
running up my legs
as if the night were tickling me
to tease me

tonight,
I'm not alone any more..

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

the crack

the whole when cracked
even a bit
releases pain & discomfort

the crack eventually
merges with the whole
to become ONE, inseparable

everytime I experience pain
physical, emotional or any other
I now remind myself that
I’m just a bit cracked

and isn’t it is in the nature
of cracks (of all sorts)
to merge with wholes?

as it is, in my nature
to merge effortlessly
with my inner being
of boundless joy and vitality

the unknown reality

a one winged-crow
hops across the street
as the angry dog
rushes to catch it

the crow flaps its single wing
struggling to raise its body
above the ground
to save its life,

the dog sensing the crow’s
limitations pounces on it

my rick passed the road
and I never got to see
what happened next.

the unknown is filled with
all possibilities

the broken finger

just barely recovering from my toe fracture
today, i've fractured my middle finger of my right hand
during the aikido class
and now i can barely type
and finger hurts so badly

i wonder why i am creating these physical manifestations
what are they trying to communicate to me?

is this a message for me to:
slow down or
focus on myself or
does this mean something deeper

just as to heal the cracked bone of a finger
all one requires to do is
bandage it with a microtape with the next finger
and the healing takes place on its own in four weeks,

similarly, the body has the potential to heal
and cure any part, if there is minimum human interference

as my finger hurts every single moment
and i try to go about my daily activities with this limitation
the pain brings back my focus into the 'NOW'

the point of power is in the NOW
and i'm going to learn from this fracture
and use this learning as an opportunity
to live in each moment
and even relish and appreciate the pain
which brings me back home

Friday, June 09, 2006

on fire

today is one of those days
when my fuck hole is totally on fire
I can feel the flames rise upwards
from my fleshy triangle

the heat burns my pussy hair
and milk oozes out
staining my cotton panties

I just want to rush to you
with my legs spread wide apart
shamelessly
and beg you to fuck me
like your dirty little slut

Thursday, June 08, 2006

the slum dweller

The slum dweller
sits outside his dilapidated house
made of wooden boards and plastic.
Staring at the road in front of him
he seems lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly the tree above
dancing to the wind’s music
showers tiny leaves on him.
The falling leaves glowing in the sunrays
look like little sparks of fire
blessing the slum dweller
with its brilliance.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

paths of life

till yesterday my paths
were glowing golden yellow
with the crumpled may flowers
falling happily from the trees

today they are blood red in color
with the bright red forest flame petals
raining from the Gulmohor trees

so alive, so fresh and so vibrant,
life is so colorful, always
glad that I am not color-blind
to see such beauty!

let go

I was cleaning some files in my computer
and I saw a file in which I’d stored a conversation
which happened two years ago

the day you revealed your truths to me
my eyes welled up with tears as I read it
I still don’t have the courage to delete that file
It has all ‘my’ feelings in it
so true, so real and so precious

It feels like it all happened just yesterday
sometimes, I just don’t understand myself
just when I think I’m over and done with it all,
I see myself digging once again, into the bottomless pit

but I so want to let go
of everything and everyone
including my own petal like feelings
and sweet memories

so that I can walk alone
In wilderness…

I’ve deleted that file!

Monday, June 05, 2006

something wonderful and magical

Due to heavy rains in Mumbai on May 31, 2006, I had lost my net connection so was unable to post.
My apologies! I missed you all very much. Thank you for being my family. Kisses and Hugs.


last Wednesday we had the first showers and it rained the whole day
the regular rick guy did not turn up
the other rick I caught, took me through a wrong route
soon I've been traveling for two hours now,
and totally stuck in traffic jam

I decided to leave the rick and walk down
with my bandaged toe (due to a fracture)
wearing slippers, which kept coming off my feet
with no umbrella and my cotton dress totally drenched

there was so much water on this road
most people were walking on the side walk
but I could not get there becoz of the water
so I was the only one walking on the divider

suddenly the street lights went out and I could see nothing
for a few moments I was in tears,
just standing there alone on the divider,
with vehicles on either side

Standing there alone,
I remembered all the things I've been learning
I remembered that `I live in a safe universe and I am loved'
I reminded myself that I have this opportunity to practice what I learnt
and finally I `managed' a smile in the darkness and told myself
'something wonderful and magical is just about to happen to me'

I kept walking repeating this to myself,
even as people pushed at me
even as the desperate public fought amongst themselves for an empty rick
even as I almost lost my rubber slippers
even as my toe bandage came off and was floating in the water now

I had reached a signal and by now,
I was the only one walking on the divider
I thought I'll cross the road
and tried to wriggle my way out through the jungle of vehicles

just then a rick from somewhere was speeding towards me,
as he slammed the brakes, I looked up at him and saw,
he had no passengers and I asked him `will you drop me home?'
he gladly agreed and as we rode,
the roads were unbelievably clear, no traffic jams at all
and the water seemed to have evaporated into thin air

Long after I've reached home and changed into something dry and comfortable,
I thought - even as there were thousands of others, taller, stronger, faster than me,
it required me to just keep walking and believing that
`something wonderful and magical is just about to happen to me'
for creating a different reality for myself!