Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Sunday, February 12, 2006


'We cannot said a better candidate than you' said the interviewer of a big multinational bank to me on saturday. Last interview is with our CEO and CFO on Monday morning and i am sure you will breeze through it with effortless ease, it is just a formality', said the manager to me.

I wonder whether their opinion will change, when they know i am on dialysis. My dialysis does not affect my work. No matter how unbalanced i appear here on the blog, i am totally focussed in my work at office. And i smile a LOT. No one ever sees me with a sulking face or a drop of tear in my eyes. I dont pretend, just that i get easily distracted by my work to dwel in any of these issues. My job is where i create and come alive.

The last interview i went six months ago, i was uanimously selected among 15 candidates and then just before i got the offer letter, i was told to leave becoz i had a kidney problem. I told the placement guy this time, i want to make my health issues clear to the company. He said he will handle it. But, i am scared that they will refuse me becoz of my kidneys. Not that i will miss the opportunity. I am very capable and there are so many opportunities out there. I am scared of the isolation just becoz i have a dis-ease.

I tried calling up the manager late in the evening on saturday. I wanted to tell him my kidney issue, but he was with his friends and said that we will speak on monday. Monday morning i am meeting the heads of the company. And what if they reject me just becoz of my kidneys? No matter how much i talk myself out of this, it is bringing tears in my eyes. No one will believe me if i tell them i dont fall sick becoz of my kidneys. I have just taken 3 days sick leave in the entire of last year. I am really good at my work, let my kidneys be. Dont punish me for the way they are.

Someone told me, "why do you go through this shit again and again? Why dont you just tell them about your kidneys right at the begining. So that you need not go through the whole thing and feel dissapointed." I guess i learnt a good lesson this time. Next time, i will say it straight in my very first interview. At least i will save myself of this stress.

I wish they rather reject me becoz i am not capable instead of rejecting me becoz of my kidneys. It hurts me to know that in their eyes i am not normal. So i am going to read now. I need to calm my mind to a level where when they do what they do tommorrow, i can keep my head high, smile and walk out as if i never cared either ways.

And i go back to my corner of the office and work as if i lived for ever healthily and happily.


Blogger Michael said...

I wish you the very best of luck tomorrow, Anu!

11:23 PM, February 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A see-saw is balanced even though it moves around.

Balanced and un-balanced as has nothing to do with how you find yourself on any one day.

12:53 AM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if your the most qualified and they don t give you the postition then maybe you should talk to a lawyer check out the movie philadelphia p s the intentions were good i think you misinterpeted what was trying to be said peace my sister

3:28 AM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger KCL said...

I would not feel comfortable critically analysing the situation, but let not anything bog you down. You rule your life and you'll make it through anything. If you can express so much so that it connects to all who read, what more do you need. Always wishing the best!

5:42 PM, February 13, 2006  

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