Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Friday, December 23, 2005

two gifts

my annual medical test results are out
i have news to share
about two more gifts
other than the renal failure

first gift is -
i have eosinophilia
such a complex name it sounds
surely it must be a female

and the second one is -
mild cardiomegaly
i looked this up on the net
and found out that
it means heart enlargement

i told my friend during lunch
guess what Nids?
she said 'what anu?'

i have an enlarged heart
so that i can hold more love in it
now isnt that fabulous?


Blogger greenbean said...

Dear Anu, your cheefulness and optimism are great lessons for me.Yes, eosinopilia - more eosinophils in your blood.Slightly enlarged heart to hold more love, more compassion and more joy.Anu dear, you're one marvellous person. I hope you can share your feelings with all the people in the world. Your cheerfulness will heal many wounds and bring joy to many sad hearts.Deep Bows to you.

7:30 AM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger madhavan said...

go for the 10-day vipassana course. dont waste yourself in anxiety, self pity. there are no miracles waiting to happen to the body. the biggest miracle is the miracle of your mind. overpower it, understand it and the disease will be something which is not even an irritation. go for the 10-day retreat asap. at least give them a ring and speak to them. or drop them an email at their website. marvellous things will happen. my promise.

9:09 AM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger Lone Wolf said...

You are such an angel Anu. Yes, you have lots of love. I hope your health increases more and more and you stay on this earth along time to share your love and heart with everyone.

12:38 PM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

Greenbean - Thank you for your kind words. I am all that what you say but only 'sometimes'. There are times when i am lazy, bored, irritable, cuss and complain, wallow in self-pity, crave for attention and approval and so much more. All this make this one anu!kewl, that is a lot for any girl to handle right?

Madhavan - Yea yea i will go for it next year. I cannot get a 10-day leave now. Before going i got to finsih the risk management in the departments i started it. Not that i dont expect to come back from there lol ;-) but i need to acheive closure at work on the assignments i started so that i have peace of mind and not pieces!
Thank you so much. And i will try hard not to waste time in anxiety and self-pity.:)

Lonewolf - i am a devil in angel's disguise. Havent you seen my horny posts ? ;-) LOL

Thank you, i am so touched by your words.

12:51 PM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger Beth said...

anu: i have to sorry for the quick comment. but i did a quick web search on the two conditions that you were diagnosed with. did the doctors say why you have the high eosinophils? it seems that it is usually due to an underlying condition (like asthma or an infection). i was just wondering if they were treating you for that. same with the enlarged heart. i'm worried for you!!!! i hope the doctors are taking care of you. but sometimes you have to be your own medical advocate. i know this from experience. BE WELL! take care.

6:32 PM, December 23, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

Kim - the medical tests were done at work (they do the annual medical tests for every employee).

They dont give consultation. I'm yet to show it to my doctors - nephrologists.

But i am so tired of hospitals. I want to try healing myself on my own. I am doing yoga. Hopefully that should help.

I dont want any more medicines. I dont want to die in the ICU with all the life-saving devices. I want a peaceful death (whenever i get it) and without any drama.

Probably a lot of my issues are coming out through the body. That is good. The body knows what is best for it. I am sure it can take care of itself.

Thanks for your kind concern kim. I am blessed to have such lovely friends.

11:13 PM, December 23, 2005  

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