Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

my pata

Today i caught a really really bad is what you may call a dust allergy or whatever. And i have been sneezing the whole afternoon. I took a tablet too. I am normally never sick. But the cold drives me nuts. I told my grandmom who became very worried and told me she will give me a medicine which is the bark of a special tree. We cut a small piece of it and put it in water. When the water boils, we strain it and drink it. Invarially the cold and cough both go away.

So i went to visit my grandmom today evening. She was so delighted to meet me. If there is anyone who can make my grandparents so happy it is "ME". My grandpa is physically no more but for me he is not dead. He is alive even alive as the sun, the moon and the stars. I loveeeeeee my grandpa and grandmom. My grandpa especially.

My grandpa nurtured me and brought me up since childhood. He would take me to the bustop and bring me back from school. He would help me wear my shoes and socks. He would make sandwiches with his own hands and cut them into tiny peices and keep them ready for me to hog on when i come back from school. My grandpa would always protect me from my mom when she used to yell and scream at me (when i back answer her). I used to run and hide in the arms of my grandfather when my mom would come to beat me.

So much i love him that i did not cry at all when he left this 'physcial reality'. Becoz i know, he is alive, he is right here...and his soul will always shower love and joy on matter where in the universe he is..if he were to come in front of me, i will recognise him and so will he. Such is our bond. Sometimes when i miss him too my in this physical reality, i cry..but then after i cry tears dry and i have a feeling of contentment. Becoz i know he is alive..all souls are alive. We just need to have the eyes to see them.

After my grandpa's death, my grandmother's life is in me. She waits for my call everyday and worries when i go for dialysis. She feels very sad that i have to go through all this. The only reason i am sad about this kidney failure is that it hurts my grandmom. I feel her pain. She is waiting for the day when i will be cured / healed... So today after work, i went to meet her.There i met my uncle and aunty too (they all stay in a big joint family). And that is the house i have spent all my childhood grandfather's house :)

My grandmother hugged me so tight and immediately asked my aunt to get me the medicine and hot tea. Then i had some steaming hot dosas (rice pancakes) and was chatting and laughing with my grandmom and my uncle and aunt. My uncle and aunt like me very much and they were telling me about their grandchild a 3 month old baby of my cousin sister (my uncle's daughter). My grandmom then gave me a comb which i had left in her home many years ago and my grandfather had preserved it so carefully.

My grandfather would preserve every thing which i leave there. The bedsheet which i used to suck as a child, my parrot, my doll, my toothbrush, my earrings, my handkerchiefs, my pens and pencils, my notebooks...everything. And some days he would travel in the rains all the way to my home just to deliver it to me. I was telling my uncle some breathing exercises to reduce weight (poor uncle is overweight so cannot climb down the stairs easily).

Then i showed my bruised knees to my grandma and uncle and aunt. Sometimes i need to be like a kid you know? I need some pampering. I need to say "look i am so hurt" and i want to be hugged and loved. And i know i will get that attention which an innocent child craves for when it is hurt, from my grandmother. Poor grandmom, she could barely see, she touched my knees and felt the slight lump on my knees to feel the bruise. My grandmom also insisted that i apply 'vicks' (a medicated vapour cream for colds, chilliness and hurts).

My grandpa always applies vicks when he is feeling feverish or his body is aching. My grandmom insisted that my aunt apply vicks on my chest so that the cold dies away slowly. Also massage them on the calves. That way my body will feel warm in this cold winter here in Mumbai. After all this pampering and lots of laughing with my uncle, i proceeded to leave for home. Hopefully every week one working day after work, i shall visit my grandmom. I love her verry very very very much.

And i want to spend as much time with her as possible. I can never forget what my grandpa told me when he was very sick and dying. I was not visiting him too often then.I was so stupid. That is the only thing i regret in my life so far. Finally when my grandmom called me saying he is so unwell and i went to visit him, my poor dearest grandpa said

"anu, you are visiting me after one year right?"
I was in tears...and those words still hurt me so much.
I love you so much pata (pata means grandpa in my mother tongue)


Blogger Shals said...

Oh so sweet !!

I miss my grand pa too. Although we had never spent as much time together, but still there was a bond between us. Love often not shown, yet it existed beween us.

I am looking forward to visiting my grandma too...She is an angel !!

Love N Hugz...

Have a great day Anu !!

10:15 AM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger Amrit said...

i really like ur blog
dont want to miss it for a single day
UR sooo full of spirit ur simply WOW
i really like it and ur words make a person think and feel

hey when u learn martial arts na plzz do one thing kick that miss K hard or call me :)

take care

12:42 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

Shals - That is why probably they are called as 'Grand'parents becoz they are so precious :-)

From one grandparents lover to another,

love n kisses Shals ;-)

Amrit- Thank you amrit for your kind words. My blog is like a crystal ball and i am like a pendulum swinging in it. No one knows what will happen next. I oscillate between extremes, trying to find balance. And i dont want to lie here. There must be at least one place on this earth where i dont have to 'pretend'. And i think i can start here and gradually cleanse the other areas of my life.


12:49 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger madhavan said...

i want some loves n kisses too like you gave shallo. nobody gives me loves n kisses. i want some loves and hugz too like shallo gave you. nobody gives me loves and hugz. no one gives me anything.

can i come in between you all when you are loving and kissing and hugging.

wokay wokay dont scream, i am goin.

madhavan dont be sad, madhavan loves you madhavan. madhavan, here take some loves and kisses from madhavan. madhavan here takes some loves and hugz in return from madhavan.

and now that i have lotsa loves and kisses and hugz of my own, i am not giving any of you anything

1:06 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger anu said...



1:44 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

Madhavan? that was so honest.
It touched me.
You are too cute.

1:49 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger Shals said...

@ MAddy : Oh CHO CHAD !Poor maddy. Dont be sad maddy !! LOADS Of Hugz n Kisses to you maddy !!



Smile !!

2:06 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger madhavan said...


2:44 PM, December 28, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

mmm :)

7:38 PM, December 28, 2005  

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