Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Inspired by simple ordinary souls

This happened on Fri, but generally i am so tired when i get back from work, i cannot type.

After office i went to this beauty parlour. I had lots to do, i was already looking like a bear :( - eyebrows, waxing full hands and legs and underarms and a pedicure. Thats my normal routine. And i am scared to get my eyebrows done. I can tolerate and even enjoy the huge 21" needle pricks on my arms during dialysis but i cannot bear the tweeking of my eyebrows....oooff it hurts so badly i want to cry!

A new girl attended me. Her name is Rukshar. I had to tell her about my kidney problem becoz my left arm has these scars due to needle pricking and 6 stiches (now totally healed) on my wrist where they have stiched my veins together so that i can get the needles pricked. Now when the do waxing on my arms, i need to tell them to be really careful on my left arm as if it bleeds, i will be soon lying in a pool of blood and it wont stop.

So enough of all this. I am sorry if you are feeling like throwing up. I have got so used to it, it does nothing to me now., other than amuse me ;-)

So i told Rukshar to be really careful on my left arm. She was shocked hearing about my kidney problems and this scary treatment called dialysis which i am undergoing, but she recovered fast from it. I look so normal and actually so beautiful that no one can guess in their wildest dreams that i could be going through something like this! So i can understand where she is coming from.

As she did her job, i watched her. She was a pretty young girl in her early twenties with beautiful features and long brownish coloured hair slim and trim. And very focussed in her work. I started a conversation with her to kill time by asking her where she lived. She told me in Juhu - a high profile locality in Mumbai. I figured she must be living on rent. We got talking and she asked me if i was single and i replied in affirmitive. I asked her the same and she was very hesitant. I told her if its personal i understand. She stopped her work and looked into my eyes and told me this which shocked me and i ended up respecting her a LOT at the end of it:

"I am a single mother of a 4 1/2 yr old kid. I am a muslim and I got married when i was 19 yrs. I had no father and my mom was pressurised by relatives to marry me off. Subsequently, my sis-in-law and my younger sis got married in a house to two brothers. My sis was very happy with her husband, but my sis-in-law had serious problems with her husband and his family since the very first day. It grew worse with the daily quarrels and finally the family sent my sis-in-law back home and she was divorced by her husband.

My mom-in-law and my husband were so upset and jealous that my sis was still having a happy married life with the younger bro that they told me to ask my sis to get divorced. They said she cannot be happy if our daughter is unhappy in that house. I disaggred becoz i know my sis is very much loved there and is having a happy married life. I refused to initiate anything of that sort. Then i was told if she does not go back to her home, then you will be sent back home. I still refused to do anything. The family then asked me to cut all ties with my mother and sis. I refused to do that too. So finally my husband divorced me. I went back home with my just born kid.

I stayed with my mom for a while. The family relatives and friends and society started spreading rumours about me that i must have slept with other men or maybe i am not good at bed or maybe i am so stupid and disobedient that "my husband left me". My beauty became my liability when the guys around started making snide remarks at me and making passes at me because in their eyes i am available now. My mom was stressed and i could see it. I had heard that Bombay (Mumbai) is a city where everyone's dreams come true. It is like the New York of America. I decided to move to Bombay. I got a transfer from the hotel i was working in. Fortunately for me, they had a branch in Mumbai.

The only relatives i knew, disregarded me here and refused to even acknowledge me. I stayed at the company flat for a while. But there was one major problem: my company never paid me salary on time. So i started to look out for another job and i came to this parlour "N". I was scared to move becoz now-a-days in even big parlours, they ask us to entertain their customers in a way i dont think it is right, i am not into all that, i just want to do my job and go home to my son who is my world for me.

When i left my company job, i had to vacate the flat too. So i got another flat in juhu on rental basis. The landlord was very kind initially but later when he came to know that i am seperated, he looks at me with dirty eyes and stares at my private body parts. I feel so bad but i cannot say anything rude or he will chuck me out and i wont have a roof then. I just have an empty house right now. My last two month's salary has gone in paying off the deposit and rent which is so huge. I have not eaten a proper meal since two months now. I dont have cooking oil or gas at home. I have just managed to get some drinking water and some bedding so far thats all. I need to buy all the things necessary to make my house into a home soon when i save enough.

I have not made even "khichidi" (a simple dish of rice and pulses) since last two months. My son is in the cresh during the day. There is a nice catholic lady who takes care of him. She teaches him good english. I want to learn good english too. My career will be better if i can speak well right? In the evenings i and my son eat fruits. Its good for health and anyways i dont have money for two square meals a day so this suits me just fine. I am waiting for this month to get over so that i can with my salary buy some cooking gas and oil and make some home made food at least one or twice a week for my son and myself. It seems ages since we have eaten home cooked food."

I asked her if she has a bf.. She said, "oh many guys were interested in my initially. But when they know that i am seperated and have a 4 1/2 year old son, they back off. They dont like me any more. One guy was okay with all of this and i really like him very much too, but he says he will only give me sex and i should keep all of this a secret as he wont want any long term relationship with me ever. So i backed out and we r still friends but only friends. I am fine and am always laughing and joking and today i am really happy least i am free in some ways and working towards some goal. My only dream is to give my son a good education" said the 26 year young girl.

Gosh what a story! I realised i have nothing to grumble about when i see how other people are living their lives. The challenges they have choosen for themselves and the elegance with which they have accepted it. They way they are taking responsibility for themselves without being a victim or blaming anyone.

Such grace, joy and innocence i saw in Rukshar's eyes as she diligently and sincerely did her job. I told her how much she has inspired me. And how many more people she will be inspiring with her life story as i tell my friends at work and all of you about her. The tons of white energy we will send to her and her son. She was touched and she after waxing me clean and doing my eyebrows even massaged my legs and arms and said she will do something for the acne on my face. She suggested i should do a regular clean up so that the pimples dont reoccur and the blackheads go away. I asked her to do the clean up for me. She did such a wonderful job. We both connected so well, she with me for my kidneys and me with her for her life that my face was glowing at the end of the clean up. I was shocked and asked her: "Did you do a simple clean up or a bleach, my face is glowing golden?" She smiled and said "i just cleaned your face up, you had the glow anyways."

She did not charge me for the eyebrows and the massage. I told her i will be back for a head massage and body massage soon. I told his story to Ni and we both have decided that we will buy her something really nice and useful for her home. I wanted to give her money but was embarrassed whether that amount i give would be too less. Together Ni and I can contribute and come up with a better figure. Though Ni herself is in a financial crisis after she moved out of her husband who used to beat her up when he is angry. Thats another story which i will tell you some other time.

I am still having that golden glow on my face. It reminds me of Rukshar. Her beauty, her grace and her elegance.

How amazing that absolutely simple, ordinary people can inspire us in such a deep manner!


Anonymous r said...

This is a lovely story, and you told it so well. I too would like to contribute, so count me in. Please give Rukshar my regards and tell her she has inspired me too.

I've had a pretty rough few days in Los Angeles, and things looked dim before I read your story. Now they're bright, and I feel the glow in my heart, just as you felt it on your face.

Thanks, and bless you

4:37 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

Thanks R for stopping by. I will convey your regards to Rukshar.

I know, you are going through a lot, but knowing you, you will emerge from it, even more gloriously than ever. :)

10:27 PM, November 14, 2005  

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