Name:
Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Do others really affect my life?

How often are we faced with a predicament "how can he/she/they do this to me?"

A couple of days back, Mr P (immediate boss) informed me that they wanted to get outside consultants to do ERM (Enterprise Wide Risk Management) for the entire company. Presently, i am doing ERM and its my job profile. Suddenly i caught myself starting to feel displaced and insecure. The entire concept and strategy of ERM was devised by me and me alone and now with the automation i felt i will lose importance and probably my present job profile too.

But in of this, there was a difference - I was totally aware of what i was feeling. I was totally conscious of the feelings of probable displacement sneaking in.

Further, Mr P went on to say how he has changed my life. How because of his managerial and leadership i have come out with such a brilliant output which was liked so much by Los Angeles. The truth is: he did give me a peaceful atmosphere to work in (esp. in comparision to my ex-boss who was breathing down my neck). But isn't that the least of what he should offer? That does not mean he should take all the credit for my work I have always been brilliant and i will be brilliant in what i do.period.I was dissapointed when P said this to everyone at work. He wanted to say that he was a great boss.

When things go right in my life, everyone rushes to tell me how much they have contributed and how they have changed my life. But when things go wrong, pooff...they dissapear. They suddenly have no rights or obligations.
They remind me "you create your own reality".

Then there was this woman at work, who was very rude to me when i asked her if i can use her scanner to scan some official documents. All this, despite the fact that her boss had given me permission to use the scanner. When i told the CFO, "i am feeling guilty to use the company scanner for doing company work and that woman is so intimidating", he said this is such a petty issue that he does not want to get involved in this. Mr P thought i messed up the situation by talking about my feelings and said "how could i even feel that?". He almost blamed me for the situation. And planted a fear in me "what would the CFO think of you?"

I was having tears in my eyes and i assumed a victim role thinking "oh god, am i not good enough...all these people are lecturing me, while that woman remains nice and pretty there."

Thinking over all of these incidents, i started to wonder, "Can what anyone feels or thinks affect my life?"

If yes, then we have a huge problem our hands. Because then everyone will be dictating our life and they will be creating our life not us. We will be victims and at the mercy of others who will use us at their whims and fancies. It will be "They create my reality" and not "i create my reality".

If no, then WOW...we would never have to feel "insecure, hurt, jealous or angry at others. Because what they feel will not affect us.

The answer is this beautiful piece written by certain someone (who? i don't know):
Because others cannot vibrate in your experience, they cannot affect the outcome of your experience.
They can hold their opinions, but unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all.

A million people could be pushing against you and it would not negatively affect you, unless you push back. That million people pushing against you, are affecting their millions of vibrations. They are affecting what happens in their existence. They are affecting their point of attraction, but it does not affect you unless you push against them."


So what does all this mean? It means:
We create our own reality.

No matter what anyone thinks of us.
No matter what they say we are capable of doing or not.
No matter what they perceive us to be.
No matter how many friends we have or how many enemies we have.
No matter anyone loves us or no.

We are, what our core beliefs are.

Is there a judgement day? There is: It happens every moment and "we" are the judge. I get to see my degree of punishment and i get to apply it NOW. The only hell that really exists is: who you really are and what you are allowing yourself to be.

That reminds of this favourite song by Boyzone (which i'm singing now):

No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know I'll love forever
I know, no matter what

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm
No matter where it's barren
A dream is being born...

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now

2 Comments:

Blogger garnet david said...

Anu, these are thoughtful and perceptive ideas. My view is that we do not create our lives, but we definately control HOW we let things affect us.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope you come back and chat some more.

I like that you are into fairy tales and Jonathon Livingston Seagull. Have you read "Illusions", also by Richard Bach?

12:08 AM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger anu said...

yes i have :) twice.

And i think it has been a fascinating experience each time.

And each time i read, i see something more, i feel something more and i can connect to myself better.

Thanks for stopping by. I like your blog and will keep visiting you often for sure :)

1:10 AM, November 13, 2005  

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