Location: India

There is so much to me, and yet i have such a longlong way to go. I am still discovering myself...everyday i will tell u something more about me

Friday, October 28, 2005

I am begining to like all of you guys who read my blog and who don't. No matter any one reads this or no, it feels so nice to have your own personal space where you can type any thing you want. Talk about freedom .... blog is all about freedom.And here, i can talk as much as i one to say, "hurry up baby";-)

Normally i have so many incidents from work here. i have one today too :) what to do yaar, its been such a long time since i have seen these wonderful sunny days that i so want to share with you everything. i have something nice going on almost every day of my life.

Yesterday i slept a little nervous becoz D was visiting R. They are both so fond of each other and they love each other so much and so deeply, that i was scared that i might sink into a pond of jealousy and resentment. So all day yesterday i was watching my beliefs while i spoke to R for 2 hrs(...can u imagine? we speak onISD for two hours and he pays for it !!!) I was so nervous as i woke up today morning and went about my morning chores. I thought all of me is pretending and sooner or later i am going to have a drama of emotions in my mind. But guess what? i have something really really amazing to tell you....

I have crossed over.......yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (yup!!! thats my victory cry).

Can you believe it, if i say that the i was very happily going about my day in total joy and awareness creating beautiful happy moments in my life while the man whom i dearly love was probably in the arms of another girl and they both were deeply madly crazily in love. Well way to go anu..pats myself on the back. I am sooooooooooooooo damn proud of myself today. I spent an entire day without having one jealous or resentful moment and i am so so so happy about it. I have always needed the approval of others.But now i dont. I dont even feel like telling anyone what i have accomplished, becoz in my eyes what a breakthrough this is. And i know it to be true becoz i was so busy and yet so aware that now R and D must be in bed, now they must be dressing for the party...blah blah blah. I am just so happy. I have been working so hard on my jealousy and resentful moods and finally i see the result and its a fabulous feeling.:)

It totally lightens you up and you feel so much at ease, carefree and so blessed and just so happy that you now can celeberate for "others".

Guess what i did today? I told the CFO of my company that i really like what he is doing and he shud keep up the good work. Oh i was not flatterring him at all. I really meant it. Actually i went to wish him "Happy Diwali". And we started to talk and i told him that he rocks and he has an element of trust and integrity which i and many other people recognise and we all really like him. NN, the CFO was so stunned he actually asked me to take a seat saying i was standing too long. And he kept looking at my face with awestruck eyes while i told him just how much i like the good work he is doing. Just then i suddenly realised that he is the boss holy shit. I told him that too..."sir it shud be you who shud be complimenting me right? but here i am sitting with my one leg on another in front of you and telling you what a good job you are doing. You are the CFO of this company and i am merely a manager (the lowest designation in the managerial cadre), you shud be telling me all this sir and not the viceversa." NN was laughing and blushing all pink and red and believe me he enjoyed making me the boss for once. I sat there like a little princess in front of one of the most powerful men of my company and i almost felt i was ruling them...and that they were totally bowled over by me.

Strangely NN replied nothing to what i said and just laughed and smiled and did not even argue or comment on me mentioning myself as his boss. Maybe he preferred me to his present boss - the CEO...hehe kidding;-)

Pinaki my immediate boss dumped all the meeting on my head and merely kept following up pretending that he is in control. And spent all the time doing nothing at all.

But you know what? I enjoy working. i dont mind at all. Just give me a bunch of enthusiastic people to interact with, some meaningful work and a peaceful atmosphere and i can do wonders.

Today i am begining my new life. There is no better time than Diwali - a festival of lights to begin something new.
I think my journey with jealousy and resentment is over...i left the two sisters far behind. Thank you and i am done with your lessons sis:)

Today i made a difference in the life of:
R and D = i passed on to them my pure love and positive energy rather than my negativity through jealousy and

My grandmom - i always make her day when i call her up. She loves me most in this world and i know that.

RB= he is a part of my team. he is a very sweet guy and i lent him my SOX doc to read and explained his queries.

Ni = she will be parting with her husband once again tomm. I just told her to stand up and do whatever she wants with confidence and with lots of self worth.

Ru = Relatives are coming to settle in her house adn her inlaws are making her work during the whole of Diwali. Her primary job is going to be to entertain all the relatives. i just told her to take an evening off to watch Iqbal as she needs some time for herself.

NN- he is the CFO of my co. I felt he is doing a great job and i walked into his cabin and told him that,

Nau my rick driver - i gave him Rs 101 as diwali bakshish (tip).

My family - as a diwali gift i brought coffee cakes for everyone at home. Though my sis Preeti did not like them much as she does not like Cofee :(

Finally this diwali i am spending so much time with myself and i am loving it:) Now am going to publish this post and read it all over again as its so lovely to live a wonderful day like today once again .


Anonymous The Beast said...

Lucky you!

3:07 PM, July 16, 2006  

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