the night-watcher

today as I cuddled into bed
under the window,
I felt like someone was
watching me intently.

I got up and peered out of the window
and saw a big round silver moon
peaping through the gaps in the trees
to look at me sleeping

I waved out to the moon and
climbed back into my bedsheets
the moon stayed up all night
shining onto my beautiful moon face

at 5am today when I woke up, I looked up for the moon
and it was gone,
perhaps, it has gone to shine on another beautiful face!

one full circle

today I gave my 5th kyu aikido test and
after the test, sensei told me
in front of all the students

"Anu, I'm very impressed seeing your rolls.
you roll fabulously now, in a full circle.
you should be very very proud of yourself
to be able to roll in this fashion."

I am beaming in joy and
a sense of accomplishment
many a bones I'd broken trying to learn to roll
many a fears I've overcome trying to embrace a fall

today I can fall like a beautiful flower and
I no more hold a fear of falling
today I know that its nice to be
up in the air
in the sky

but it is even more nice to dive
down towards the earth
it humbles you to take a fall
it enriches you
it empowers you
it makes you complete
the rise and the fall
together form one full circle
as sensei said.

a new friend

as I was leaving the hospital today,
I was laughing and joking
with the nurses and technicians
suddenly I felt something,
I turned around

curly hairs, light brown skin
eyes are dark black and lovely too
but this little girl of 7 is slightly different
she has a catheter in her neck and
her bright eyes are whispering little words to me

I saw this little girl staring at me
something about her big beautiful round eyes
and her curly locks, I was falling in love
I smiled and waved out to her
her silent big eyes suddenly brightened and
she waved back
smiling the sweetest smile I've ever seen

she is Nimisha, and on dialysis
she does not talk or smile to anyone
perhaps in my eyes she saw no sympathy
but a precious glee and delight for her
maybe she saw another 7yr old little girl in me
this is going to be the begining of
a wondrous friendship and
I'm so excited about my new friend

the balloon

late at night
on my way back home,
speeding through the highway
I see hardly any vehicles on the road

suddenly from one of the vehicles
flew out a big red color balloon
it was snatched away swiftly by the night breeze

my eyes sparkled at the thought
of a little child around in one of the ricks
I thought of the sadness the child might feel
at the loss of his/her precious balloon
as I peeped into the vehicles on the highway
when I speeded past them

and what do I see?

in one of the ricks stands a little girl
laughing and chatterring away in utmost joy
there was no trace of sadness or loss
on her face or in her expressions
she seemed so delighted
to see the flight of the balloon in the air

perhaps, there is a greater joy in letting go
in tasting the deliciousness
of the lightness after giving something away
rather than by owning and holding on to it

Bed no 619

Seldom is anyone allowed visit the ICU
and 25-yr old Nikhil, though conscious, was in ventilator
unable to speak, not had a drop of water for 45 days
and with 20 tubes all over his body

after my dialysis, I asked the ICU security guard
to forward my comics to Nikhil in Bed no. 619
guard directed me to the ICU counter and
the nurse directed me to Nikhil's bed
seems like I'm destined to meet Nikhil
and miraculously the universe is making it possible

I whispered as I reached his bed, `Nikhil'
two eyes opened and suddenly his face brightened
he smiled so vibrantly, and almost didn't blink
I felt like he could not take his eyes off my face
I showed him my best wishes card which said
'Get well soon and we'll have coffee together'
and he nodded furiously, still grinning ear to ear

I unwrapped the gift wrapping paper and
showed him the comics I'd purchased for him
I spoke to him for a few minutes and
told him I'll meet him again very soon
He was listening to me with rapt attention
and so were the nurses in the ICU ward

when I was just about to leave,
Nikhil tried to reach out to something over his head
it was the gift wrapping paper
he grabbed it and held it close to his heart
a tear slide from his right eye
I kissed him on his right cheek and left

the touch of an angel

yesterday I was stuck in a traffic jam
all the vehicles were so close to each other

I was sitting in one corner of the rick
listening to the music and suddenly,
someone tried to touch me

I was so shocked, I lifted my eyes and saw
there was another rick very close to mine
and there were two legs of a man in it
I almost flew into a rage and thought,
"how dare this man grab me like this!"

and almost immediately, a tiny moon-shaped face
peeped through the other rick, with awestuck eyes
and two pigtails and a big bright radiant smile
it was a little girl sitting on that man's lap
she was trying to reach out to me
it was perhaps, the healing touch of an angel

I've still not gotton over this wonderful surprise and
throughout the journey, as long as we were together
the little girl and I, spent our time
peering from our respective ricks,
waving out, smiling and
blowing kisses to each other

all for a hello

crowded streets
myself at the signal
in a rick and
watching the opposite street

I see someone frantically trying
to cross the opposite street
the cars and buses rushing towards him
he moves forward one step
and has to take two steps backwards

finally he does manage to cross
the street almost risking his life
and heads straight towards me
panting and excited at the same time

he stops just beside my rick
flaps his lemon yellow wings
in the most gleeful manner
greets me a loving warm 'hello'
and is off on his way now

this lemon yellow darling butterfly
almost risked his precious life
just to greet me

the rise & the fall

thirty snow white
slim figured cranes
rise towards the sky

a few hundred yellow green leaves
some dried and some golden in color
fall from the tree towards the earth
at the same time

lavender & orange?

lavender sky
orange moon
talk about color combinations
and fashion statements

the pedicure

when I was a little girl,
my mom told me told me
"you're legs are so short and
plump for you to wear a skirt"
this disturbs me a lot

today as the parlor lady
touched my feet to do the pedicure
I had all these ticklish feelings
running all through my veins

not only because I was embarrassed
but also as I am very touch-sensitive
the lady was grumpy and
kept staring at me
though I tried hard
to keep a straight face,
it was evident that
I could not stop smiling

she started scrubbing
on my soles, and I almost jumped up
toppling the bowl of water
on her gown, Oh boy!

I was so glad when
it was finally over
the lady said
"you meet me before you go"
and I felt she probably
wants to yell at me

yet I went to meet her
and she told me this
"you've most softest
legs I've ever massaged"

the lousy dancer

I've been seen
images of myself
dancing so beautifully
since childhood
in my mind
I seem to be addicted
to dance and songs

but now I noticed
I cannot dance in real
I don't know why
I become so stiff in public and
I move like a little robot

yet the lousy dancer
loves to dance and
she knows not that
she glides when she walks

so the lousy dancer
dances all alone
every night for a few moments
to a song she plays for herself
in her over-sized blue night gown
with the wind playing with her long black hair

she moves back and forth
in the little space of her tiny room
sometimes held by the dark (k)night
sometimes swrilled by the soft sweet breeze
and sometimes falls into the arms of the hard bed

Diwali

today is Diwali
a festival of lights
some light ghee lamps
some light oil lamp lamps, and
some hang big star lanterns
outside their homes all night

I've lit up my little soul
to brighten my life
Happy Diwali

the shopping

I purchased three new lovely dresses and
one pair of attractive long ear-rings today
and was returning home
seated comfortably in my rick

on one of the lonely hilly roads, I see,
a middle aged man,
exhausted from his day's work
and now, fast asleep,
lying on the pavement
under a street light

the earth is his bed
the sky is his roof and
he is probably, wearing
his only set of clothes

the garbage dealer

everyone is celebrating
Diwali, the festival of lights
the shopping malls are all lit up
colorful lanterns outside homes
expensive clothes and jewellery
delicious mouthwatering sweets
familes making extensive purchases

a lonely scrap and garbage dealer
stays in his tiny dilapilated hut
on one dark deserted road
which I pass through to reach home

on the eve of Diwali, I noticed
he had lit a little mud lamp and
placed it front of the garbage
outside his home

the invisible designs

I sing to myself and
make designs in the air
with my my one hand;

my other being pinned down
with needles during dialysis

the wave

crowded streets
people rushing home
a three year old little girl
waves out to the crowd
but no time for anyone
to notice

I knew, perhaps
she may never notice me
as I was at such a distance
yet I wave out to her

to my surprise and utter delight
she turns around suddenly
and waves back to me
her bright eyes
joyfully looking into mine
and a big smile
on her sweet round face.

this saturday morning

golden sunrays
scatterred on my floors

a speck of diamond dust
gayfully dances in it mid-air

steal a kiss

as I was sitting in my rick
I felt someone rush towards me
in full speed

I could feel his warm breath
on my soft cheeks
so very close to me
that I was shocked
I turned my face around
and stared at him

he suddenly stopped in mid-air
and turned his proud head
pretending like he never meant any mischief
and sneaked away in the opposite direction

I swear, I have this surest
feeling in me
that this naughty orange butterfly
with bright polka dots on his wings
almost stole a kiss from me!